Lovely Shattered Secerts Read online

  Copyright © 2022 by Abbey Easton

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Contact: www.authorabbeyeaston.com

  Cover Design by Tugboat Design

  Copyedited by Faith Williams, The Atwater Group

  First Edition March 2022

  Contents

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  Title Page 2

  Prologue

  1. Chapter One

  2. Chapter Two

  3. Chapter Three

  4. Chapter Four

  5. Chapter Five

  6. Chapter Six

  7. Chapter Seven

  8. Chapter Eight

  9. Chapter Nine

  10. Chapter Ten

  11. Chapter Eleven

  12. Chapter Twelve

  13. Chapter Thirteen

  14. Chapter Fourteen

  15. Chapter Fifteen

  16. Chapter Sixteen

  17. Chapter Seventeen

  18. Chapter Eighteen

  19. Chapter Nineteen

  20. Chapter Twenty

  21. Chapter Twenty-One

  22. Chapter Twenty-Two

  23. Chapter Twenty-Three

  24. Chapter Twenty-Four

  25. Chapter Twenty-Five

  26. Chapter Twenty-Six

  27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

  28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

  29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

  30. Chapter Thirty

  31. Chapter Thirty-One

  32. Chapter Thirty-Two

  33. Chapter Thirty-Three

  34. Chapter Thirty-Four

  35. Chapter Thirty-Five

  36. Chapter Thirty-Six

  37. Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Epilogue

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  Prologue

  Atlas

  Nine Years Old

  “These damn boys.”

  I jumped as my father cursed and hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. My muscles tightened and my bones hurt as we drove in the small, cramped car that smelled like stale cigarettes and sweat.

  He’d been mumbling and cursing a lot since he threw us in this car. It’d been so long, I’d lost track of the hours. It was so dark now and still we drove.

  My fingers dug into my little brother’s thin arm. He’d fallen asleep sometime before the sun had gone down, but it was a fitful sleep. His body was so hot, it made me sweat even though the car was cold because the heater didn’t work.

  Crew moaned in his sleep, and I brushed his dark hair back from his sweaty face, kissing his forehead like I’d seen our mama do before she left us. I clenched my jaw, hoping against hope that we were going someplace to help him.

  I glanced at my father in the little mirror that hung from the ceiling as he drove. I could barely see him in the glow from the little lights on the front part of the car. His teeth were clenched, body rigid.

  I hadn’t asked where we were going. My brothers and I had never been in the car before. We’d never been away from our house before, but maybe…maybe we were going somewhere to help Crew.

  I’d tried so hard to take care of him at home. I was his big brother, after all. If I wasn’t going to take care of him, who would? When he’d first gotten the fever, I’d given him the medicine Mama always gave us when we got sick and hot. But it didn’t seem to help and every day he got paler. The cough got worse until I could hear funny sounds coming from his chest every time he breathed.

  I glanced out the window next to me. It was only blackness, like someone had covered it with a blanket, and I shivered. I didn’t like the dark.

  There hadn’t been any lights outside in a very long time and I wanted them to come back. I wanted to go to a doctor for Crew, but I didn’t know if doctors worked at night.

  I opened my mouth for what felt like the thousandth time, wanting to ask my father where we were going, but like every other time before, I chickened out and closed it again, leaving everything in silence.

  Then the car jerked to a stop.

  I blinked. I whipped my head to the seat beside me where my other brother, Ty, sat. His eyes were wide as he looked back at me.

  I glanced out the windows, but it was still black. So dark.

  Our father didn’t say anything as he got out and slammed his door shut, making the car rock beneath us. My arms tightened around Crew as he stirred in my lap.

  He came to my side first, wrenching the door open. The overhead light came on, and I squinted against the sudden brightness.

  “Get out,” our father ordered, his voice hard and angry. He was always angry.

  A cold gust of air slapped my face as I looked out behind him. There was nothing. Only darkness. My heart lurched, banging against the inside of my chest so hard it hurt.

  “I said!” my father hollered as he reached in and yanked me from the car. “Get the fuck out!”

  I tumbled out, barely catching myself before my face met asphalt. We were on a road.

  I scrambled to my feet as my father pulled out Crew next. I caught him before he fell.

  He let out a small cry, his glassy eyes opening, staring around him in a panic.

  I hugged him, shushing him softly. “Quiet, Crew. I have you. It’s okay.”

  But everything in my body told me it wasn’t going to be okay. My father slammed the door shut again and rounded the car.

  “You too,” he growled, opening Ty’s door.

  There was a pause, and my heart sank as Ty’s small but strong voice drifted toward me.

  “Why? Where are we?” he said, his tone sharp.

  I studied our surroundings, my head turning in every direction. There were no other cars, just a road with open fields on each side. I clutched Crew to my chest as I raced to the side of the road and set him gently on the ground where the road stopped.

  The loud slap echoed through the night before my father’s voice roared, “You don’t question me, boy.”

  “I’ll be right back, Crew,” I whispered low before I turned and ran toward Ty.

  He hadn’t made a sound, but he was sprawled out on the road behind Father’s small, blue car. My heart jumped into my throat so quickly I thought I might choke on it.

  “Ty!” I rushed toward him as he pushed himself up from the pavement, wiping blood from his lip. “Are you okay?”

  He looked up at me briefly before his eyes snapped to the back lights of the car as they flashed red. I searched for my father, but he wasn’t outside anymore. I realized with a cold jolt he was back in the car.

  And the car started to move.

  The wheels made a squealing sound before the car lurched forward, speeding into the night. Speeding away from us.

  I didn’t think about it before I ran.

  “Come back!” I pushed my legs to go faster, but the lights of the car got farther away.

  He couldn’t leave us here. It was dark. He couldn’t.

  I ran until I couldn’t feel my legs. Until I couldn’t see the small pinpricks of red lights in the distance.

  My legs stopped working suddenly, and I crashed to
my knees. The skin on my palms broke open against the rough, hard road. My head hung as tears burned in my eyes, chilling on my cheeks in the breeze.

  It was so cold. And so dark. We were so alone.

  I jerked my head up, the darkness consuming almost everything. I slowly got to my feet, my legs shaky and wobbly but I turned around, back to where I’d left my brothers. I couldn’t see them, but I could hear Crew’s cries. They needed me.

  They’d always needed me, their big brother. I was all they had left.

  I went to them as quickly as my tired legs would let me. Pushing through the tightening panic in my chest.

  My eyes adjusted enough to make out Crew first, curled up on the side of the road where I’d left him on the crunchy grass.

  “Mama. Mama. Mama,” he cried softly.

  I wiped away what tears were left on my cheeks as I fell to my knees beside him. “It’s okay, Crew. I’m here. I’ve got you.” I picked him up, cradling him in my arms. His body trembled, and I thought he felt hotter than he had in the car.

  A sick feeling dropped into my stomach.

  “Stop crying, Crew.” Ty’s harsh voice gained my attention. He glared down at us, his left eye already swelling shut. “Mama is not coming back. Ever.”

  Crew began to cry harder, and I held him closer to my chest. “Ty, he’s sick,” I snapped. “He just needs the right medicine and he’ll be fine.”

  Ty spread his small, skinny arms out wide. “Look around, brother. There’s nothing here.” His voice broke as tears welled, but anger blazed in his expression. “He threw us away.”

  My chest ached. I wouldn’t miss my father, but I also knew Crew needed to get somewhere safe, somewhere warm. My body was already starting to shake from the cold.

  I stood up, holding Crew. His cries had died down to whimpers as his body relaxed into mine. I couldn’t tell if he was tired or content to be so close to my warmth.

  “Then we have to start walking.”

  Ty’s good eye widened. “Walk where? There’s no lights. No people.”

  “Maybe there’s a house close by. Someone who turns their lights off at night.” Fear crept up my spine at the thought of walking blind in the darkness. But it had to be done. I couldn’t let anything happen to my brothers. I had to protect them.

  I turned, not waiting for Ty’s reply as I started walking. I heard his footfalls behind me, though, as I made my way toward what I hoped was somewhere. Anywhere.

  The cold, cold wind cut through my thin shirt like it was nothing, and my whole body quivered. I clung to the hot, small body of Crew curled up in my arms. He hadn’t made a noise in a while and that made me nervous, but I didn’t think about it too long. I focused on my feet, on keeping them going. One foot and then the other. Over and over.

  There came a moment when Ty’s footsteps behind me grew silent. I looked over my shoulder at his form on the ground. A spike of fear shot through me, and I turned.

  “Ty,” I breathed, too tired to shout. “Ty, are you okay?”

  He looked up at me, his whole body trembling.

  “It’s so cold.” His breath was a cloud in the icy night air. “I don’t remember home being this cold.”

  We knew what it was like to be cold. The house wasn’t always heated, but now I realized that simply being in a house, away from the wind and under what little blankets we had, made a big difference.

  “We have to keep going,” I pleaded, my voice shaking with my chattering teeth.

  “I’m so tired.” Ty curled in on himself, as if trying to hold on to what little warmth he had.

  I glanced helplessly at Crew; his breaths were as fast as mine even though he hadn’t been walking at all. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew we couldn’t stop and rest, not even for a little while.

  I bent to one knee next to Ty, leaning my back toward him. “Climb on. I’ll carry you.”

  Ty made a strange noise in the back of his throat. It might’ve been a laugh, but it sounded like a sob too. “You can’t carry me. I’m too big.”

  I shook my head. He wasn’t too big. He was probably smaller than most five-year-olds. I could do it. “I’ve carried you a lot. Besides, Crew weighs almost nothing.” That was true too. He was so small for a three-year-old. I guess none of us were much more than skin and bones no matter how hard I tried to make sure we had enough food.

  We never did.

  Another wave of shivers crashed over me, and I gritted my teeth. “Now, Ty. We have to keep going.”

  At my forceful words, Ty finally moved. He climbed onto my back, his arms wrapping around my neck. I used one hand to hold Crew to my chest and reached the other behind me to help keep Ty on. He wasn’t as heavy as I expected and even though my steps weren’t as fast as I wanted, it was manageable.

  At least having them both on my body was keeping us warmer.

  With every step I took, every small curve in the road, I prayed to whomever people prayed to that a house would come into view. A driveway. A light of any kind.

  But there were none.

  Only darkness. Only cold.

  My vision started to fade in and out. I only noticed because I looked up at the sky, at the stars and the big, bright moon flickering and spinning in my vision.

  I shook my head and kept walking because I couldn’t stop.

  I didn’t get much farther before my toe hit a crack in the road and I tripped, falling hard to my knees. I held my brothers firmly to me so they didn’t fall off, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get back up.

  My head felt heavy. My thoughts were hard to make sense of. I crawled to the side of the road where the tall, crunchy grass swayed in the breeze.

  I lifted my eyes back up to the stars. They twinkled above us, bringing light to the dark, black sky. I liked the stars.

  Please, I pleaded to whatever it was that made the stars shine. Please help us.

  I continued to watch the sky, my body shivering and aching. My tongue felt thick and dry in my mouth, and I wished for some water.

  I was moments away from losing the battle with my eyelids when I heard it. The hum and whoosh of a car.

  Immediately I popped up, breaking Ty’s hold around my neck, but I didn’t care. I still held Crew in my arms as I ran into the road, my brain not thinking about anything other than making the car stop.

  The headlights hit me, bathing me in their glorious light. My eyes squinted against them.

  There was a squeal of tires, but I didn’t move.

  It stopped a few yards ahead of me, a large white car. My heart leaped in my chest, and I smiled, my lips cracking.

  “Atlas?”

  I heard Ty’s voice, and I turned my head to see him standing on the side of the road, his arms wrapped around himself.

  “Come, Ty.” I looked back at the car. “We’ve been found.”

  I heard a door opening, and the shocked voice of a woman said, “Oh my God! They’re children.”

  A small woman with gray, puffy hair ran toward us. Trembling fingers covered her mouth. Her head shook back and forth as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

  “Please,” I said quickly. I had no idea who this woman was. I didn’t know if she would help us, but I had to convince her. “We are lost. And my little brother is sick. We just need a ride to where the doctors work.”

  Another sound of a door opening, and a man joined the woman. He also had gray hair and his eyes were wide and concerned as he looked at me.

  “You poor things, you must be freezing!” The woman rushed to Ty, taking off her thick coat and wrapping it around his body. “Come, get inside the car. You’re safe now.”

  You’re safe now. Her words played over in my head, soothing my terrified, tired mind.

  I looked down at Crew still curled in my arms, a smile on my lips. “We’re going to get you help, Crew,” I whispered to him. I leaned in and kissed his forehead.

  I tensed.

  His skin was...cold.

  A shock of
dread spiked through my body and my legs almost gave out. My eyes ran over his small form frantically, arms crushing his body to mine, desperate to feel his small breaths.

  But he was still. Too still.

  His face was pale, his lips blue.

  A heavy hand gripped my shoulder, and I looked up into the eyes of the man. His were sad, concern pinching his wrinkled face.

  I latched onto Crew’s body. How had I not noticed he wasn’t breathing? When did he get so cold?

  I opened my mouth, my eyes desperately pleading with the old man standing there. I wanted to ask him to help but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew Crew was beyond help.

  “My brother,” I said, which seemed to be the only words I could find. Tears welled and fell down my cheeks.

  And then my legs finally gave out, my body giving up now that it had nothing to fight for.

  The man caught me before I hit the pavement. The woman screamed.

  And I, for once in my life, welcomed the darkness that took me.

  Chapter One

  Atlas

  Present Day

  The blaring screech of a ringing phone broke through my dreams, and I bolted upright with a start. Sweat coated my skin as I blinked against the darkness, so thick it felt like it was pressing in. My chest tightened; my mind spun as I tried to orient myself.

  The phone rang again, disrupting my panic.

  “Shit,” I grumbled.

  My eyes adjusted, and I realized I was in my own bedroom. I clicked the lamp on my bedside table. The light instantly calmed my nerves. I pushed my unruly hair out of my eyes and took a steadying breath before reaching for the phone next to the lamp. My stomach dropped at the sight of the name on the screen.

  I cleared my throat, but it was still hoarse from sleep as I answered. “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me.” The familiar voice of Colton, the person I considered my best friend, came from the other end. “Sorry to call so early, but…” He paused. “I have Ty at the station.”